Quotes - humour - Advice from Men to women
1. The floor is considered an acceptable clothing
2. Never ask me to purchase feminine products.
Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing.
3. When watching TV hugging is always fine because
I can still see the screen. Kissing should only be done during
timeouts and commercials. Questions should also be limited
to this period as you stand a much better chance of getting
an immediate response.
4. When we are watching your show and I change
the channels during a commercial do not hassle me to change
the channel back. I always know when the timing is right.
Also, when we are channel surfing do not ask me to go back,
there was a good reason why I skipped it.
5. If you need help with the laundry, I am more
than willing to carry it from the bedroom to the washer. In
my mind this is half the chore and I am now free to return
to the couch.
6. If I mention that a male friend of mine is
allowed to do something it is not necessary for you to call
his wife/girlfriend to discuss it.
7. If you don't like the way I am driving close
your eyes. And I would appreciate it if you would refrain
from making that reverse inhaling alarmed noise. I haven't
hit anything yet and if I do it will be your fault.
8. I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.
9. Just tell me what you want me to wear before
I get dressed. And remember that this takes me less than ten
minutes no matter what the occasion is. After all I am getting
dressed, not getting ready.
10. Don't ask me if I prefer one outfit over
another or if a certain accessory should be worn or not. I
consider this a no win situation and would rather just wait
for you to get dressed while watching TV.
11. If you want me to put the seat down when
I am finished then you should leave the seat up when you are
finished. It's only fair. And stop giving me a hard time about
missing the bowl. What do you expect from an organ that has
a brain of its own.
12. I will cook anything as long as it is on
13. Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly
like stadium crowd background noise to me. I am not ignoring