Family Groups - Fathers - No more silence
In a staggering and deeply symbolic move, thousands
of ex feminists all over the world have come out of the closet
today and declared their intent to "get in touch with
their masculine side."
Led by the charasmatic ex-feminist, Miss I Lovemen,
the anti-feminist group, "Birds Against Lieing Lesbian
Statistics" (B.A.L.L.S) Issued the following statement.
"It is time for women everwhere to get
in touch with their masculine side.
As people who have done this ourselves we recommend
this action to women all over the world. For us, it has been
the single most liberating experience we have ever encountered.
The benefits felt by this action are listed below and combined,
they have enabled us to feel like whole humans beings for
the first time in our lives. We cannot over emphasize how
fabulous this has made us all feel. Gone is the need to bitch
and whine constantly. Gone is the need to lie and turn on
crocodile tears whenever we cannot have our own way. Gone
is the hateful need for revenge whenever we feel put upon
by anyone. Gone is the need to feed our egos constantly by
pointless and expensive shopping trips. Also gone is the need
to blame men for everything. We now have the guts and moral
fibre to accept responcibility for our own mistakes and be
honest enough to admit them."
When this statement was received by mens groups
all over the world the excitement generated was akin to that
felt when the old porno pictures of Germain Greer were discovered
on the Internet.
Below is the list of benefits said to have been
experienced by thousands of women who have adopted the masculine
principles of the ladies from B.A.L.L.S.
• Sports are no longer seen as the enemy of women.
• No need to feel insecure because men need time away
• No longer feel so self obsessed.
• selfishness is dieing.
• Addiction to chocolate fadeing away.
• Able to face up to and admit our own faults.
• The need to use children as weapons in arguments has
• Extra strength to face up to difficult matters alone,
without the need to run home to mummy everyday.
• No resentment felt over the ownership of the TV remote.
• Realising that men as fathers are equally important.
• Loss of obsessions such as, constantly wanting men
to change into females. Not worrying about the position of
the toilet seat. Preventing little boys developing into men
by allowing them to play with toy guns and climb trees. Losing
fear of competition. Realising that when little boys come
home dirty and covered in mud they are NOT commiting crimes
• Love of the truth.
• Capacity for exaggeration diminishing.
• No longer feel the need to bring every mistake ever
made by our partners into every argument.
• The powerful need to manipulate and use sex as a bargaining
• Understanding that "Girl power" is a myth
and the Spice Girls are crap role models for young girls.
• Understanding that hating men does not empower women
but actually diminishes them.
• Loss of fear of cooperation with males.
• Loss of fear of getting underneath cars to change
• Realising that we are 100 times biger than spiders
and that a fear of them is foolish.
• No more worries about the size of our bums in that
• Growing ability to accept criticism.
• Rejection of the gay belief that "real men"
look better in earings, dresses and by wearing their wifes
• Realising that Victoria Beckham is slightly nuts.
• Realising that David Beckham is slightly nuts.
• Understanding that men are turned on by stimulus to
their visual cortext and that asking us to dress up for bed
is not a perversion.
• Understanding that "equal rights" means
• Understanding that the acceptance of being wrong sometimes
does not diminish us as women but creates character.
• Lessening of the need to use guilt as a weapon.
• Realising that Germain Greer is a screwed up lunatic.
• Realising that feminism is a manipulative cult as
dangerous as "The Moonies" and full of bitter liars,
with a mile wide chip on their shoulders, who have a radical
hatred of all things male.
• Understanding that the BBC no longer tells the truth.
• Growing understanding that gossip is usually 98% false
and is not the gospel truth.
• Gradual understanding that soap operas are NOT real.
• Gradual understanding that women are just as capable
of violence as men
• Understanding that men are NOT the enemy but that
feminism IS the enemy.
• Diminishing of greed.
• Understanding that PC is the most stupid of philiosophies
ever devised and totally rejecting it.
• Realising that people who sell us "dream catchers",
crystals, feng shui, (?) or any other such mystic crap are
using our natural gullibility against us.
• Realising that flower arranging is NOT a sport.
• Realising that voting for someone because we like
the way he/she dresses/looks is astoundingly irresponcible.
• Realising that sexism goes BOTH ways.
• Understanding that sleeping with famous men and then
writing, "Kiss and tell books" does NOT make women
powerful it just makes women less trustworthy.
• Realising that a false rape allegation is as serious
a crime as rape itself and deserves equal punishment.
• Realising that a false abuse allegation is abusive!
• Understanding that because men do not wish to engage
in unending and pointless verbal spewing they are not repressed,
but are actually much wiser than those who indulge in such
constant opinionated self expression.
• Understanding that "experts"
are often totally wrong.
• Realising that because you know what a tool is for
and what it is called does not automatically mean you have
the skill to use it.
"These are just a few of the benefits us women can find
by getting in touch with our masculine side." Said Miss
This press release is forwarded by the
good men at No More Silence