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Humour - Great Truths
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize
cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't
let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back.
They always catch the
second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold
a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your
hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the
same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a
glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white
shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is
Grandpa's lap.
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jelly
to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet,
with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut
that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging
on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal
for the fiber, not the toy.
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is
optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives
I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else
you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same
sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller
coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers
but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy
beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes
age comes alone. |
